Tuesday marks the day I can officially call myself a college student. Today I bade goodbye to my hometown and hopped on a plane to NAIA, thence on a car to UP Diliman. I spent roughly an hour and a half in Kalayaan, filling out forms and stuff (red tape for the win), pausing every once in a while only to walk to the nearby Shopping Center to buy index cards, papers, envelopes, and whatnot. I will make the necessary payments and have my forms notarized on Monday, but for today I threw all my stuff in my dorm room (basement, baby!) and headed to SM North Edsa to buy things I needed for the dorm.

Kalayaan’s state is deplorable, to be honest. You’re lucky if your locks are broken—at least they’re not missing. The wood on the cabinets is rotting. Vandalism has soiled the walls, although artistically so. All things considered, though, the place is livable, because these days all you really need is electricity, running water, and, most important of all, WiFi. It could be much worse.

Tonight I’m in a hotel in Pasay City. Tomorrow will most likely be spent in MOA, primarily jejebusting but also finishing my pre-school-year shopping. Then in the afternoon or evening, I will go back to Diliman to spend my first night as a Kalayaan dormer.

Above is a picture of everything writing-related that is in my bag. I have many more books at home, and I wanted to bring all of them, but as I was packing I realized that space is scarce and that I’m not keen on the idea of bringing a boxful of dead trees with me to a small dorm room, so this is all I brought:

• Green Apple spiral-bound notebook, where I do most of my writing.
• Moleskine ruled notebook, for journal entries.
• “Basic Journalism” by Estrada and Nem Singh. You’ll have to squint really hard if you want to see it in the picture. I bought this two or three years ago, although I’ve been referring to it since elementary.
• “Feature Writing For Filipinos” by Genove. As an elementary and high school campus journalist I participated in the Feature Writing category.
• A small copy of the 1986 Constitution.
• “Twisted V” and “Twisted 8 1/2″ by Jessica Zafra. I read her blog and just started following her columns on the Star. I’m a firsthand victim of her viciousness, but she is entertaining to read nonetheless.
• “Youngblood” and “Youngblood 2.0″, anthologies of the popular Inquirer column.
• “Killing Time In A Warm Place” by Jose Y. Dalisay, Jr. My thoughts on the book.
• “Stainless Longganisa” by Bob Ong.
• Barron’s Book Notes of Ernest Hemingway’s “The Old Man And The Sea.” Perhaps the best book I’ve ever read.
• My small fountain pen collection: a basic Pilot and a big-nibbed Parker. The Pilot is a pump converter; the Parker is one of those newfangled ones that use refill cartridges. My Quink inkwell is not in the picture because I forgot to pack it.
• Canon PowerShot A650 IS. I love this camera. Sadly, months ago it went priapic. Its lens won’t retract. I’m hoping I can have it repaired tomorrow, although from what I’ve read online it can be cheaper to buy a new camera than to send an old one in for fixing.
• Sterling daily planner.
• That little orange guy that keeps the pages in place when I’m reading a book. Given to me by a very good friend.

In less than a week I will leave my hometown to pursue a degree in Journalism at the University of the Philippines in Diliman. As a kind of countdown, I thought I’d take a look back at the past few years of my life throughout the week and connect them to what lies ahead for me. Specifically, I’ll be linking to blog posts or websites that I think are worth pondering on and discussing them briefly.

* * *

“Moryo-Moryo: A Ray Of Hope“, a project I took on along with four of my Junior year classmates that focused on the plight of children who lived near our city’s dumpsite. Despite my deplorable HTML and CSS skills, the project won Best In Community Impact for Smart Schools’ first Doon Po Sa Amin Learning Challenge.

Perhaps the most iconic and enduring symbol of the University of the Philippines is the Oblation—a naked man with arms outstretched, offering himself in service to his country. No less than this attitude of self-sacrifice is expected of all UP students.

The Oblation made me think about when I decided to take on the Moryo-Moryo project. The prospect of winning a cash prize enticed me, of course, but much more than that I welcomed the opportunity to help a worthy cause. Every time we visited the school, we got to see the children whose eyes sparkled with hope despite their dire situation. That really hit me in two ways: it reminded me of how lucky I was to have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a house to come home to everyday, and inspired me to do everything I could to help. I cannot justify with words the fulfilling satisfaction I felt in telling the story of Moryo-Moryo, in working for a cause bigger than me.

It feels good to be part of a community that cares so much about service to country at a time when the Philippines is so overridden by greed and selfishness, in city streets and in corridors of power. I hope I prove myself worthy of the tradition of service to country that UP fosters.

In less than a week I will leave my hometown to pursue a degree in Journalism at the University of the Philippines in Diliman. As a kind of countdown, I thought I’d take a look back at the past few years of my life throughout the week and connect them to what lies ahead for me. Specifically, I’ll be linking to blog posts or websites that I think are worth pondering on and discussing them briefly.

* * *

“Regretting Section One [RANTING/BITCHING]“, published here on July 4, 2008.

When I was a first year high school student, I was part of Section One of the Special Science Curriculum of Agusan National High School. The Special Science Curriculum, or “Science High” as it’s colloquially called, is the most advanced curriculum ANHS offers. To qualify for it, incoming freshmen must pass a rigorous testing process (admittedly, it was easier then compared to now, but it was hard to get through nonetheless). Being in Section One of Science High, therefore, means being part of the crèmè de la crèmè of the school.

Needless to say it was an honor for me, a so-so student who had never gone to public school before, to make it. I felt proud.

At the end of freshman year, I found out that my dismal grades meant that I would probably be demoted to a lower section of Science High. So as a sophomore, I bade goodbye to the glow of Section One and said hello to Section Three. At first, I felt awkward, ashamed even. I had fallen from grace. As the year wore on, however, I found myself having the time of my life in Section Three, feeling no pressure and being able to enjoy high school as a high school student should.

When I qualified for reinstatement to Section One as a Junior student, I hesitantly accepted. Barely a month into the school year, not having recovered from the euphoria of Sophomore year, I wrote the above post, lamenting the seriousness of Section One and wishing for a return to simpler times.

I thought of this as I was preparing for UP and all the pressure it will give me. Admission into UP was one of my biggest dreams, and now that it has come true, I wonder if I should have been careful what I wished for. I know, of course, that for its notoriously rigorous environment, UP is an almost-absolute guarantee of future success for its student. Pressure, they say, forms diamonds after all. But I think it would be more apt to think of UP as a trial by fire for me. If I’m really made of gold, I will come out shining brighter than ever; if I turn out to be anything less than is expected of me, I’m screwed.

It was easy for me to whine about the pressure that comes with being part of the cream of the crop as a high school student, but I resolve to look at the pressure that comes with being a student of the country’s premiere university in a different light. I know it will be anything but easy, and I can’t say I’m confident about my chances, but I’m more than willing to have a go at it.

This is it. Pressure na. Kaya ko ‘to!

In a matter of weeks I will pack my things, clear my room, and hop on a plane bound for Manila, bringing with me the weight of my parents’ dreams for me. I feel like the modern, middle-class equivalent of that guy in the Filipino movies of decades past—the clueless promdi who receives kisses and well wishes from his teary-eyed friends and family then hops on a ship bound for the big city, and who, upon arriving, takes off his straw hat and raises his head to marvel at the skyscrapers and the airplanes that dominate the alien landscape, before setting off, knapsack slung over his back, to look for a job.

After five years’ worth of afternoons spent playing patintero and hide-and-seek and worrying about absolutely nothing, six years in the protective cocoon of private elementary school, and four years in the blissful turbulence of public high school, I’m finally heading off, living on my own for the first time in my life. It’s scary, in a way, going off on your own, severing yourself from the tether of dependence you’ve worn all your life. I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to get used to having to fend for myself out there in the wilderness they call the real world. I’m going to have fun trying, I’m sure.

But it is as exciting as it is daunting. I don’t know what awaits me in the skyscraper-lined avenues of the Metro, the tree-lined roads of UP, and the book-lined walls of its buildings. I’m yet unsure about what it will feel like to rub elbows with my generation’s future greats. I will be charting the course for my future, studying to become a journalist in the worst place in the world to be one, mulling over going on to pursue law and one day earn the general scorn of my fellowmen. The near future, I realize, is full of uncertainty, but so is life; I’m not fully sure of where I’m going, but I am sure I will enjoy the ride.

My parents will call, email, maybe pay a few visits; reunions with friends and classmates will take place on Facebook walls, in chat windows, and in a few chance encounters in airport lobbies or malls; I will fall in love, climb back out of it, and fall again, and maybe one day fall for the last time. When I return everything will have changed, myself included. Whether for better or for worse, we will find out when we find out.

In June I will take off to a new city and, in many ways, an entirely new life. I will meet new people and learn new things. I’ve often asked myself whether I’m ready, and although I still have no answer to the question, I know it won’t matter. The Universe won’t wait for me to be ready, it’ll just go when it wants to. Sounds like fun.

A brief account of how my day went:

Woke up at around half past eight. Went to school to claim my copy of the yearbook. Found out it’s not ready yet. Sat around for a while, chatting with classmates, sharing our qualms about college and talking about other random things.

Went to McDonald’s, where I and a couple of my classmates were treated to lunch by Xavier. Afterwards we watched “How To Train Your Dragon” (tickets also courtesy of Xavier—thanks, Xav!); it was an engaging film, didn’t get bored at all.

Then I walked to church. We were supposed to hold rehearsals for this project we’re doing, but given that most of those involved didn’t show up, we called it off. We decided to play hide-and-seek. In the middle of our game the rain started to fall. We sought shelter.

As we watched the raindrops pelt the ground, one of the kids started playing in the rain. Pretty soon I was emptying my pockets and taking off my watch.

I hadn’t expected the rain to fall. I had brought neither a change of clothes nor a towel.

But still, I decided on an impulse to venture into the open and, for the first time in a very long time, play in the rain. It was the most cathartic thing I’ve ever done in quite a while.

Me and friends in the rain.

I’ve been so busy growing up that I’ve forgotten the joy of catching raindrops with your tongue, stretching your arms out, letting go and just feeling life.

I’ve found happiness—it’s in the raindrops.

Click for full-resolution image

Results of the University of the Philippines College Admission Test or UPCAT, which I and my batchmates took last August, were released today. Although results are still unavailable online due to technical difficulties with Globe Telecom’s connection, I was told I qualified for admission to UP Diliman’s Journalism program, praise be unto God!

To qualify for UP is probably one of the most coveted achievements a high school senior can hope for, and although Journalism was my second course choice (Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and Accountancy being my first), I’m still shocked that I even passed the UPCAT. I remember how dizzying I found the Mathematics and Science portions of the exam to be. Certainly, I passed the UPCAT not because I have the smarts but because a Higher Power willed it.

Here is my secret to passing the UPCAT.

***

If you live in the Philippines and watch a good amount of local news, you will probably remember that the Iglesia Ni Cristo (of which I am a member) held massive gatherings in different locales around the country and the world in celebration of its 95th founding anniversary. What fewer people know is that beginning one month prior to the celebrations, we held daily devotional prayers (panata in Tagalog) for the success of our celebrations. Beginning June 22 (if I’m not mistaken), I made the daily ride to church right after school. Although congregational prayers in our locale were scheduled for 7.30pm nightly, I sometimes had to hold my own personal devotional prayers whenever I had UPCAT review classes to attend and couldn’t make it to the congregational prayers. Of course, I prayed primarily for the success of our celebrations (that was the reason for our panata, after all), but I also prayed that the Lord guide me during the UPCAT, that He bless me with a bright future if He so willed, and that above all, His Will be done. I asked Him to allow me to pass UP so that I wouldn’t have to enter a secular university in order to earn a proper education (INC members are highly discouraged from entering secular schools). I so prayed every day for more than a month, even after our July 27 celebrations, in the days leading up to the August 1 test date.

When I took the UPCAT, I felt my prayers were answered, inasmuch as I felt His presence and guidance. Sure, I found the test difficult, but I didn’t feel threatened (if that’s the right word). The moment I finished the test, I knew that I had been granted victory, the results notwithstanding.

Last week, in anticipation of the releasing of the results, I decided to hold another weeklong personal panata, this time asking that He give me the strength and wisdom to accept His Will. I asked Him to teach me how to use the outcome of the test, whatever it may be, to better serve Him.

Today I found out that I qualified for admission into UP. He heeded my prayers. He didn’t leave me alone. Praise be unto God.

I am fortunate to have been brought up learning to place my trust in the Lord. I was always taught by my parents and my elders in Church that no one and nothing in this world can be trusted, that my trust should be placed in the Lord, in the Lord always, and in the Lord only. I was always taught that He will never turn a deaf ear to the prayers of His chosen people so long as we never turn away from Him.

Today I once again saw that He has never deserted me and will never desert me.

This victory is not mine but the Lord’s. Praise be unto God!

Photo of irrelevance to this post, but cool nonetheless: classmates attempting an Abbey Road shot. That yellow bus is our white VW Beetle.

A piece of tremendous news to begin the New Year with: De La Salle University College Entrance Test (DLSUCET) results are out, and by God’s grace I passed! I qualified for my first choice, Bachelor of Arts in Political Science (AB-POM).

I’m still holding out for the results of the other entrance exams I took, though. Don’t get me wrong—DLSU is a great school, I’m sure. However, because it’s a sectarian uni and because tuition there is far from cheap, it isn’t exactly my first choice for college.

Still, thank God I passed the DLSUCET. Medyo lumuwag ang pakiramdam ko. Results of the other entrance tests are due in a few weeks—a month at most—so my fingers are kept crossed and my prayers fervent.

***

“To Kill A Mockingbird” was due today, but I renewed my lease on it until the end of the week. I’m in the home stretch now: page 212, just after Tom Robinson is handed the guilty verdict that reduces Jem to tears. It’s a highly captivating read, and as do many other classics it manages to give the reader a picture of the era in which it was written while remaining timeless. Its plot is as brilliant as its writing. Its characters are very well portrayed, from Atticus and his enviable calm to Jem, Scout and Dill and their childlike inquisitiveness. It’s not hard to see why this peek at a time bygone (and thankfully so) is among the most important works of American literature.

School has been suspended until next year to give way to Christmas vacation. The weeks leading up to the break have been unusually full of activity for me as well as for my classmates. I and my colleagues in the school paper were in a frenzy for almost a month preparing to send our first (and probably only) issue to the press, but thankfully all the copyreading has been done and the layout finalized and the paper is now ready for printing. Now that that’s all over with, I can finally sit down to blog.

***

A quick update on my reading. My journey through the classics of literature continues. I finished reading two notable works since my last blog post—”Lord of the Flies” by William Golding and “Of Mice and Men” by John Steinbeck. Both were very interesting and very impeccably written.

“Lord of the Flies” plays on the concept of man’s inherent savagery which surfaces in the absence of order (which is to say, when man is stripped down to his bare essentials). I found it very easy to root for Ralph and despise Jack throughout the story. The gripping finale, when rescue arrives on the island just as Ralph is about to be killed by Jack and his men, manages to be both amusing and sobering at the same time. Golding succeeds in demonstrating through the novel the immutable fact that man is cruel and savage by nature.

“Of Mice and Men”, meanwhile, paints a pitiful yet inexplicably beautiful picture of America during the Depression. I can only imagine George and Lennie in their soiled clothes, denim jumpers and tattered straw hats bucking barley in a California ranch, dreaming of a carefree life tending to rabbits and living in their own simple home. The saddening truth that the farmhands will never earn enough money to realize their ambition is rivaled only by their admirable ability to believe otherwise. Also remarkable is the irony that breathes life into the two protagonists’ partnership. Imagine a heavyset man who often acts like a child taking orders from a short, wiry fellow who talks to him condescendingly.

Allow me a brief moment of unbridled sexism so I can mention the matter of Curley’s wife. A solitary woman in a masculine world is bound to cause trouble—Curley’s wife is definite proof of that. Only she and her locks of smooth, silky hair are able to lay waste to George and Lennie’s humble dreams of hakuna matata. This concept is far from new, of course (Genesis is an enduring example of how woman is often thought of as mankind’s ticket to damnation), but no portrayal of the idea I’ve read—so far, at least—is quite as heartbreaking as Steinbeck’s in “Of Mice and Men”.

***

My dad started teaching me the basics of driving recently. I’ve been doing most of my practice driving on the relatively deserted city bypass road—mostly just learning when and how to switch gears, all the basic stuff. On two occasions my dad let me drive the family car on long (long for me anyway) stretches of national highway. One time, I lost my concentration to the frenzy of a busy intersection—I had come to a full stop to allow perpendicular traffic to pass, and when I was clear to go, I switched to second gear directly from neutral (from a full stop, you must always go from neutral to first). Of course my engine shut off on me.

My three-point turn skills need more sharpening and I’m yet to learn to parallel-park.

***

In nine days, we will bid adieu to 2009 and say hello to 2010. 2009 was a crazy year, wasn’t it? We said goodbye to too many influential people (MJ, Tita Cory and Ka Erdy, to name a few), went through Typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng, and stood witness to a vicious murder that was committed in the name of greed, power and money. The year that was 2009 was nothing short of trying for the Filipino, but we successfully braved the storm as we always do, looking forward to the promise that the new year brings.

***

We had our annual year-end Thanksgiving at church today. I certainly have so, so many things I am thankful for and it is impossible to name each one. More impossible still is to fully repay the good Lord for the boundless blessings He has showered upon me, my family, and the Church throughout the year. Glory be to God!

***

[Image credits: "Of Mice and Men" book cover from Wikipedia]

October was a very blessed month for me. Besides turning a year older last month, I won second place for Feature Writing during the Regional Schools Press Conference, so I will be going to Tagum City to compete in the Nationals. I was also named Caraga’s Outstanding Campus Journalist for the Secondary level during the same event.

***

I finished reading two classic books this week: Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince and Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea.

The Little Prince is a very odd book. I’m sure the author meant to bring a point across, and I guess he succeeded, at least in a way—Asteroid B612′s little prince’s frivolity is a wake-up call to people whose lives are too preoccupied by things too worldly to warrant so much attention. The finicky rose on his home planet and how he painstakingly took care of it could perhaps be interpreted to symbolize love and all that. However, I find it extremely difficult to understand why Saint-Exupéry chose the little prince and his psychedelic adventures to be the vessel of his message. Perhaps I’ve grown too old to appreciate the color and wonder of his work.

That scares me. I don’t want to ever grow old in that sense.

The second book, The Old Man and the Sea, is a fantastic (and much more digestible, at least to me) read. I cheated, though—instead of the book itself, I read Barron’s Book Notes for it. In fairness to myself, I feel I wouldn’t have appreciated the novella as much if I’d read the original work. Hemingway did such a masterful job with the symbolism in the book, regardless of whether you think it was autobiographical. I think that without the Book Notes, I wouldn’t have caught the little nuances that make the book so enduring, such as when Hemingway paints Santiago as a man whose life was the sea—a fact reflected by his eyes which were colored like the ocean—and who appeared dead with his eyes shut.

If you still haven’t read The Old Man and the Sea, though, I recommend you purchase a copy of the work itself together with the Book Notes. I think that is the best way to enjoy the work. Hemingway’s simple but strong language is superbly effective in unfetteredly delivering what he wants delivered but can sometimes belie to the plebeian reader the tenacity and emotion of his work, so the Book Notes can be thought of as a guide to deconstruct the complexity of the masterpiece.

Thank you, by the way, to Sir Jay for loaning me the Book Notes.

***

Dan Brown’s latest novel, The Lost Symbol, hasn’t had much luck with critics, or so I’ve heard. I hate to even entertain the thought, but could Robert Langdon’s glory days be over? Maybe the world has simply grown tired of an eternally single, claustrophobic Harvard symbologist’s history-rich capers. Maybe Dan Brown has milked every last creative drop out of Langdon. Maybe there is no more story to be milked.

I haven’t read the book yet, though, so I’ll reserve personal judgment for later. I would have bought a copy the last time I was within comfortable distance of a National Bookstore branch, but the Php900++ price tag on the hardcover version is out of my reach. Considering what the book reviews have been saying, I can wait for it to come out in paperback form.

***

Currently, I’m reading Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama. I’ve barely reached page 30 of the book but so far it’s been a captivating and insightful read, made enjoyable by Obama’s simple style.

***

National Novel Writing Month 2009 has begun!

I spent a considerable amount of time last night formulating the very general plot of my novel. I think today I’ll hurry up character development and finally give my protagonist and the object of his affection their names. I have a November 30 deadline to meet, and a NaNo participant who wants to complete his novel must write at least 1,667 words a day to meet the 50,000-word requirement. Those who can only work on weekends must be able to come up with 12,500 words every weekend to make the quota! Obviously there is a lot of work to be done, and with school and other highly important things also on my to-do list, this year’s NaNo is promising to be very daunting.

***

I very recently upgraded my machine to Linux Ubuntu 9.10 Karmic Koala, the latest version of the popular Linux distribution. It is no exaggeration to say that this OS is gorgeous, inside and out. The pedestrian user may not be able to readily recognize the more drastic changes that have been made—mostly in security and in the Linux kernel itself—but they will definitely improve overall user experience.

I’ve made it a point to do a clean install every time a new version comes out (instead of clicking “Upgrade” in Update Manager). This time around, I found a little difficulty in installing Karmic as my DVD drive had gone bonkers so I couldn’t burn a CD. I decided to download the Karmic ISO then use the USB Startup Disk Creator utility that came with 8.10 Jaunty Jackalope to make Karmic bootable from my flash drive. After fiddling with the BIOS a little, booting from the USB key and setting up Ubuntu, I was good to go. It took me a grand total of less than two hours and $0 to get set up. This is why I love FOSS.

Things at school have really been busy for a long, long time now. That largely explains the silence in this side of the blogosphere. We’re taking a bit of a breather (next week is Semestral Break Week) so thank goodness for that.

***

Entourage Season 6 wrapped up last month. Good news: the show’s been renewed for another season. Bad news: the next season won’t be available until July 2010 (by my estimate), and it might be the show’s last! Sucks because I just recently started following the show and I think it kicks ass.

If and when Entourage gets cancelled, I will make it a point to purchase DVDs from all the way back to the first season (if not all at once, at least gradually).

***

Entourage has made me develop gadget envy—my mouth waters every time I see Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) and Eric Murphy (Kevin Connolly) typing away on their Blackberry devices. My iPhone has taught me to embrace full QWERTY keyboards. Now I prefer them to T9 keypads (the norm in my country). Having a soft keyboard such as the one on the iPhone, however, has its disadvantages. For one, the phone is flimsy enough as it is, and I have to hold it precariously just to type. Typos are all too common, too. That, plus the incredible email and calendaring capabilities of the Blackberry OS, makes me want to get high on the Crackberry.

***

Of course, my iPhone is OK—battery life is a bit sub-par because I’ve had the device for a year now, and the phone sports a few scratches and an itsy-bitsy crack—and between a new phone and a new laptop, I need (OK, want) the latter more. Macbook > Blackberry any day.

***

Changing topics quickly, the Regional Schools Press Conference (RSPC) is set to take place next Monday and I’m nervous. This is the last RSPC I’ll ever be able to participate in (barring the possibility of being held back one year), so I really want to make it to the nationals one last time. Cross your fingers for me!

***

We’re in the final few weeks of the year now, which means 2010 is coming up. I’ve also realized that I’m going into the final few months of high school. It sure as hell has been a great four years, and I’m going to miss this shit when I leave.

***

The results of the many college entrance tests I and my classmates took are going to be released in January or February next year. Believe me when I say that even as I write this, my hands are going cold in nervous anticipation. How did I do? Where am I going to school next year? Did I qualify for admission into any of the good univs? One can only hope and pray.

***

Been nice talking. See ya!